I’m doing it now. Not sure if you read my last post, but I’m clearly deconstructing something I’ve long held as true.
I get what’s going on. I’ve done it before. It’s an ugly, messy process. Feelings get hurt. Egos get bruised. Regrettable things are said. It’s altogether uncomfortable.
AND it’s also necessary.
It’s natural for the human mind to build constructs. To take certain ways of seeing things and prop them up as gospel truth.
But then, we bump into… life.
The walls of that construct don’t hold up as well as we thought they might.
This terrifies the ego, which needs safety and certainty (total illusions, btw, but that’s for another post). It enjoys those constructs. It feels safe in them. But now, the jig is up and it feels vulnerable, so it grabs the sledge hammer. If left to its own devices, it’ll tear down the whole damn thing, set the rest on fire, and walk away.
(Sound familiar? Maybe, like me, you’ve done that to your childhood faith?)
Good news is, the soul knows better. It knows that the truth never lies in any construct, but it also knows there are seeds of truth found in the process of propping them up, tearing them down, and rebuilding new ones. So as we’re freaking out and panicking, the soul is smiling.
Yes, it whispers…
I’m deconstructing the shit out of some things at this moment. But I have to be careful here. See, I’m not an amateur deconstructionist anymore. I’m like a seasoned pro when it comes to tearing things down and walking away from them (fortunately?).
And so I’m writing this post so as to pause, set the sledge hammer down for a minute, place my hands on my knees, catch my breath, and chat with you about it just in case you might be going through the same thing.
Speaking to my experience, there are a lot of gifts from the Modern Mainstream Spirituality (MMS) world that I need to be sure to not destroy for myself. There are ancient relics that are so fragile that I need to be sure to set aside and protect before I continue my demolition of this structure.
I won’t go into what those things are here since it’s not the intention of this post. I just wanted to be clear that there are some things about the thing I was bashing on last week that are sacred and I realize that.
And so a benediction for you, on your deconstruction, should you be going through one yourself:
May you grip that sledge hammer tight. May you wield it mightily taking care not to smash to pieces the gifts within that existing structure that will serve you greatly on your journey.
May the stones shatter and the walls come crumbling down safely around you.
And when you’re done, may there remain a strong foundation for you to rebuild on.