Right now, I’m alone in my house. This never happens anymore. It’s nice. But it’s strange.
Since becoming a dad, at least SOMEONE else is almost always home. Either Alex or Rory. Whenever I’m alone, Rory is usually sleeping in the other room, so I have to be quiet. Can’t do anything too loudly. Sometimes, she wakes up and cries, and I have to go in and calm her back to sleep.
This used to frustrate me. Having a little human who depends on you for survival is scary. Downright frightening. Especially for us guys. But now that I’ve acclimated to being a dad, it’s actually enjoyable. I know that one day, she’ll be too big and too cool to call for her old man.
My schedule just changed, so I’m getting home a bit early. I have a couple hours before Rory gets out of preschool. Alex works late. So right now, it’s just me.
I just vacuumed the play room. That was nice. Haven’t been able to do that for a while. Again, Rory’s either right there or asleep. So that was good to get done.
Right now, I have some City and Colour (it’s spelled like that; I’d never spell it that way — silly Canadians) playing probably too loud and am drinking my coffee as I write this.
Sinking in here, I see the life I’ve co-created with Alex. We’ve done well. We have food in the fridge. WiFi. Coffee. Warm clothes. A few bucks in the bank. A healthy family. And a beautiful little girl who’s probably running around laughing with friends right now.
I remember darker times. And I’m glad the light’s on right now.
Breathe again. Ahhhh.
Looking around, I take note of how much I love this place. We live in an old early-1900’s brick house in the old part of Reno. Hardwood floors. Built-ins. Nice, big windows. Out my front window, the leaves are almost totally off the tree.
Our furniture is comfy. I can move to the love seat. Or the armchair. But right now, this Victorian couch suits me just fine.
Another storm is coming in a couple days. And I’ll be right here watching it. Except then, I’ll have a giggly little girl wanting to run out and play in the snow again. And again. And again.
This is good. It’s all good.