You go first

What is it you’re aiming for?

Is it a certain job? The shedding of a job?

A started project? A finished project?

Is it a financial goal? A lifestyle change? A relationship?

These are all ‘things’. The usual suspects. But I venture to say that what we’re ultimately after is a state of being.

Some say that we’re after a feeling, but a state is a little different.

A ‘feeling’ seems ethereal. Like trying to grasp steam coming from a pot of boiling water.

A ‘state’ is more grounded. I can be there with my eyes open. It’s a certain place, mentally, that I can live, move, and have my being in. It goes beyond feeling.

The things above — the money, the relationship, the career, etc. — are self-imposed catalysts we say will lead to this desired state of being.

So, why wait?

Put yourself in your desired state right now. Regardless of whether or not you have the ‘thing(s)’.

Try it when you’re walking somewhere. As you’re strolling along, fa la la la la (because don’t we all say that as we walk), put yourself in the end mental state you want to achieve.

Boom. You have that job. That thing.

What state of mind does that put you in? How do you interact with the world around you? Does your breathing get easier and fuller? Do the colors around you take on a new hue? Do your shoulders relax? Ahhhh. Those bills are finally paid. You’re doing interesting work (you’re pretending at this point, but believe it — walk the walk). It’s all good. You can smile now. You can let down your guard. You can stop worrying. You can be free. Right now, you’re there.

Once you’re there, ask yourself this all-important question…

Why stop?

Why not just hang out there if even for a little while a few times a day? Why wait for the ‘things’ to show up? You’ve just proved you don’t really need them to be in the state that you thought they were going to bring you.

Erm, on this point, just so you know… you likely won’t. Usually, we crazy humans go back to stressing. Worrying. Predicting. Hoping.

It’s fine. But return to this deliberate state-setting as often as you can.

The mental state you want to live in requires no outside ‘thing’. But having the ‘thing’ requires the mental state of its equivalent. This is the order it’s supposed to go in.

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The life we want to live is waiting on our mental equivalent before it shows up.


It’s waiting for you. But all along, you’ve been waiting for it. You just have it twisted.

The ‘stuff’ or the ‘things’ in life never go first. You’re the first mover. You always (mentally) go first. This is the divine order. We’re creators, this is what we’re here to do. Create things in mind that can show up on the canvas of our lives. This is creative living.

What’s funny is, if we do this, we might find that we won’t even need or even want the ‘things’. Because we’ll already be there by the time they show up. The stuff that we think is so great now will just be… stuff. (This explains a lot of the misery issues with wealthy people, but that’s for another post.)

Kind of a bummer. But a bummer in all the right ways. Because then, you’ll be in charge. Not the ‘things’. Now you can live on-purpose, regardless of the ‘stuff’. Just wait what shows up now. It might even be better than what you expected.

Are you still waiting?


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Jonas writes daily essays and meditations here at Medium. To get them delivered straight to your inbox as soon as they’re live, click here.