Don’t feed the hipsters

A five-photo narrative

This is one of my favorite shirts. Got it for my birthday. It says “Don’t Feed the Hipsters”. It’s clever.

At first, I must say, I was a little uncomfortable. I really don’t like offending people. Unless they deserve it.

Reno is inhabited by a lot of “hipsters”, whatever that means.

I have nothing against these “hipsters”. In fact, my cousin-in-law always calls me one. I think he’s clearly mistaken, but I’ll take it as a compliment.

What annoys me are people who are trying too hard to be “hipsters”.

I don’t care that their style is that of a “hipster”. What annoys me is the “I’m too obscure for you” attitude they carry around.

But I don’t lose too much sleep over it.

Anyways, I wore this shirt yesterday. When I went to the coffee shop, of course, a girl was working the register who was clearly a “hipster” (and proud of it).

She took one glance at my shirt, shot me the stink-eye of doom, and said, “So… Why shouldn’t we feed the hipsters.”

This was it. The moment I feared.

I hate confrontation. See, I’m really slow at come-backs. Always have been. My friends in school used to be so good at them. They’d go back and forth “burning” each other (do the kids still call it that?). When I saw this exchange happening, I’d slowly back away, because I knew that if they got to me, I’d shoot back with a stutter, finally going with a small, heated burst of profanity, usually ending with, “…you’re s-s-stupid”.

Hipster gal, who I could easily overtake in hand-to-hand combat, was publicly challenging me. I looked around. Hipsters were at my six, my three, and my nine (in combat situations, we use the clock to position our assailants).

I was outnumbered. If I went too aggressive, I’d be attacked, verbally and emotionally, by multiple “hipsters”, all carrying beard oil and sharp combs.

It would soon turn physical. The beard oil would be used as an oil slick to disrupt my traction, thus sending me to the ground, before they piled on top of me and grated their combs across the soft parts of my flesh.

I’ve seen it a hundred times. Challenging a hipster in Java Jungle is like challenging an officer at the police station. Not gonna end well.

I had to be delicate. What to say?

“Excuse me?” I was buying time.

“Why shouldn’t we feed the hipsters?” she said again, even more confidently, and with increased volume as to gather the attention of her friends.

“Because they get aggressive when you feed them,” I shot back with a grin.

Nailed it! I don’t know how to describe it. The come-back didn’t come from me. I was just a vessel. It came from God on high.

She actually laughed. We had a moment. Swiped my card, I got my coffee, and high-tailed it out of there.

Combat averted.

This is the stoop to our new office.

And that, right there, is a pile of shit.

I think it’s from a dog, but I’m not too sure. You can see the initial blast as the charge left the barrel on top and the spent shell below.

This was a direct shot straight into the side of the step. No attempt whatsoever of cleaning it up.

This, friends, is downtown Reno. Getting there, but still shitty in a lot of ways.

This is one of the things I love the most about our new office. It has a shower. And a kitchen.

Here’s why this is awesome…

I get up at 5:30 am. Usually, I have to wait until the girls get up before I get ready. This means I usually don’t get out of the shower (and I’m useless before my shower) until 9am. And I only have until 11 am to work before I switch with Alex and watch Rory for the rest of the day.

This will allow me to head straight out of the house, head down here, and grab my shower and coffee before the sun comes up.

Nothing like getting a jump on the day.

Now if I can just fix that shower head.

Today is the last day of my Foundations of Science of Mind class (I wrote a photo narrative here for my final project if you care to check it out).

Ernest Holmes was a genius. If you have a chance to check out this book (it’s his most popular one, but they’re all good), it’s worth your time — if you’re into metaphysical, spiritual, philosophical stuff.

He provides very practical tools and insights to create good juju in your life. And it all starts with your thoughts.

In our class, we went over the basics of how to apply Holmes’ teachings to your daily life. In those 11 weeks, I experienced several shifts in both my consciousness and my physical reality. And I feel I’m only scratching the surface of what’s to come out of this philosophy.

So, apparently Tony Stark is moving into the neighborhood.

It’ll be good knowing we’re safe.

I think this is the future of law enforcement. Instead of having big, klunky, aggressive, government-run police forces, we’ll just have more superheroes. And we’ll organically try to persuade them into moving into our neighborhoods to provide us with safety and battles of epic proportion to watch from our porches.

Good to see we’re getting Iron Man.

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