I'm an awful man

The works of God, in particular, those which are done through [humans], are not done apart from sin.
- Martin Luther; The Heidelberg Disputation

I have a public confession to make…

I typically only do good things for people (aka ‘good works’) when it benefits me and my self-image.

It’s true. Case in point…

Last week, it snowed. ‘Twas marvelous! We got five inches of light and fluffy stuff after a long six weeks of zero precip.

I was so happy. I shoveled our back deck and front walkway. And then it hit me… I’d better go across the street to Donna’s house and shovel her driveway!

Donna is an elderly woman. As spry as she is, shoveling a fairly large driveway and front porch steps is a sketchy feat for anyone, let alone someone her age.

If that were the only reason I did it, that’d be one thing. But it was not. Oh, no… It. Was. Not.

The main motivating factor was not Donna, but Jim, my other neighbor who lives down the street. Jim is from here. He’s a country guy and an outspoken Republican. We get along fine, but we probably don’t see eye to eye on a lot of issues. Honestly, sure, I lean left, but I identify as transpartisan. I really don’t think either side is great. So I’d say that the biggest difference between Jim and me is that he cares WAY more about partisan politics.

Anyhow, Jim is probably a couple of decades older than me but in relatively good shape. The last time it snowed, I’d barely gotten to my front walkway when I looked over the fence and saw him leaning on his shovel talking to Donna as they stood on a perfectly plowed driveway. He glanced at me and nodded with a grin as if to say, Why don’t you just go back to your avocado toast and NPR, you LIBERAL. I’ll handle the real work here, son. (Okay, those are the words I assigned him, BUT I’M SURE I’m right about this.)

Wait a second there, dad, I replied in my head (wait, did I just call him dad?)…

I’m the generous and giving “liberal” here who cares about the oppressed, the poor, the sick, and (in this case) the elderly! Not you! All you care about is your guns and filling the coffers of rich multinational corporations! Gaaaaah!

So, this time, I got him. The maniacal voice of my righteous indignation 👆 filled my head as I raced to finish shoveling my porch so that I could beat him to it. And beat him to it, I did. I claimed it first and finished it up, pronto. Donna’s driveway was spotless.

And then I got in my car. And drove to work. And realized that I totally forgot to clear the snow from our very own truck that my wife would soon have to use to take Rory to school in.

Yes, I abandoned the wellbeing of my own family to shovel a neighbor’s driveway for the express purpose of one-upping my other neighbor with my do-goodism.

I texted Alex and told her that she’d need to allow some extra time to clear the truck because, well, I forgot. And, as usual, she texted back the eye roll emoji 🙄 . Which, I’m sure, God was doing as well.

So, that’s my confession. My so-called ‘good works’ done for the purpose of bloating my ego. Donna’s driveway has become the battlefield of a pissing contest between my neighbor and me.

But, as Luther alludes to in the quote above, my Sin/assholishness is pretty much the only thing that God has to work with if She wants to work with humans.