How The Greatest Showman turned my 4-year-old into a burgeoning alcoholic

We watched The Greatest Showman on Prime a couple weeks ago. Since then, we’ve had to listen to the soundtrack (which is fantastic, btw) on repeat.

As soon as Rory wakes up in the morning/comes home from school, it’s an instant request. But she didn’t know the name of the movie at first, so she had to describe it in order to get us to play it…

Hey Dad, can we listen to the music from the movie where they do, you know, like… (Makes a taking-a-shot-from-a-shot-glass-motion with her hands and throwing her head back.)

Me: Oh, like The Greatest Showman? Yeah, that’s called ‘doing shots’. (Wondering why the hell I get myself into these things by over-explaining to my daughter).

Her: Hey Google (yes, my child is being raised, in part, by AI), play ‘Doing Shots’.

Google Home: Playing ‘Shots’ by LMFAO and Lil Jon.

Me: Google! Stop! (Sh*t…) No, ‘Doing Shots’ isn’t the name of the movie, it’s just what they do in the movie.

Her: (Puzzled look. Needing explanation.)

Me: ‘Doing shots’ is where you get a bottle of… water… and you each get a little glass and drink them really fast.

Her: (Gathers her tea set.) Here you go. Show me, dad.

Me: (Questioning myself as a father and as a human.) Here, hand me my water bottle. Okay, so this is our bottle. You have your tea cup. I have mine. Go ahead and pour us some.

Her: (Spilling it a bit, but managing to get most of the water in the teacups.) Here. You. Go.

Me: Okay, so we do a cheers first (ching) and then we drink the water fast, like this… (Getting into it now. Maybe a little too much.)

Her: Like this? (Spilling it all over herself. Which is awesome.)

Me: Yeah, perfect! Try it again. (Seriously, this is happening?)

Her: We’re like the guys on the movie, Dad!

Me: Yeah!!

Her: I’m not thirsty anymore. Can I just dance now?

Me: Hey, Google. Play The Greatest Showman Soundtrack.

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