I wanted to share a little experiment I’ve been trying with you to see if you’d like to play along with me. I haven’t been able to get it right every time, but maybe you’ll prove yourself more successful than me. Hopefully, so. Here it is…
When anger, fear, resentment, or frustration (insert similar adjective of your choice here) comes up, don’t react in kind. Instead, trust love.
I don’t know about you, but the only reason I get angry and pop off is that I trust that reaction more than I do one of love. I trust that it’s going to bring me better results. I fear that love will turn me into a pushover. The ego tells me that I must assert myself.
I must freak.
At least that’s what my unconscious self goes to. But with this little experiment, I’m trying to notice when my ego gets triggered. For me, it’s a small explosion of tightness in the chest area that rushes up the back of my neck and into my face (maybe like a heart attack — I don’t know). My shoulders tighten.
You might know the feeling.
When I feel that, I’m experimenting with rubbing my chest to settle the tightness while physically anchoring the heart space. I follow this up with a breath and then a complete abandonment of what my survival-based lizard brain wants me to do.
This also works for those moments when you feel like someone is trying to take advantage of you. For me, I feel that tightness in my chest as my ego tells me not to say anything, to play small, don’t make waves, don’t piss this person off, etc. But love is sometimes firm, direct, and assertive. Rubbing the chest gets us into that space where we can trust love and say the uncomfortable thing from a place of compassion.
As I said, I haven’t done this every time, but every time I HAVE done it, things turn out way better than expected. Yes, I have to put up with my ego berating me for not going on attack-mode for 15 minutes. But after that subsides, a deeper calm comes over me. The situation gets resolved with far fewer emotional casualties. And love wins again.
Just something to play around with…
It won’t disappoint you.