Rising above your default settings

Photo by @zekedrone on Unsplash

I’m an enneagram 9 (I hate admitting this). I’m a Leo. I’m reasonably athletic. I’m an extroverted introvert. The written word is my medium of choice. I️ can’t remember names for the life of me (but faces, I hardly ever forget). I️ have a deep fear of becoming homeless and dying alone. I shy away from conflict. I have intimacy issues. I stutter and blush when I’m nervous…

I could go on about all of my foibles, tendencies, idiosyncrasies, and inclinations. About my personality types and numerology types and astrological types. I can especially go on and on about my limitations.

Are these things good to know? Sure. They explain a lot of the backstory. But here’s the thing…

They’re merely my default settings.

Some of these default settings are genetic. Some were set in place when I was a child as defense mechanisms to fend off trauma I was facing at one time or another. Defense mechanisms that have become internal programs that run on a loop without my awareness.

Yes, these things are somewhat revealing and fun to talk about and have added to the human narrative about who I am today, but here’s what I’ve come to know…

God doesn’t really care about my default settings.

Damn… These default settings make excellent crutches. In times of crises, I can kick back and lean on them. After all,

Being a victim of our default settings requires far less emotional and spiritual fortitude than stepping into the next deepest version of ourselves that life continually calls us to.

When you get right down to it, our default settings aren’t hopeful. They point to the lowest common denominator.

On an individual level, when one talks about default settings they say things like…

“My mom’s entire family were alcoholics and addicts. It’s in my blood.” (I could easily use this one.)

“Introverts can’t preach.” (Really hope this isn’t true.)

“Women can’t have kids, a thriving profession, and a fulfilling personal life at the same time.” (I’m married to someone who might disagree.)

Societally speaking, the default setting is the low average of humanity. When you look at the historical default setting of marriage, it’s a dreary picture. Same thing with international relations, societal/cultural diversity, and more.

But let’s stop talking about default settings. I think we can agree they’re not interesting. Nostalgic, maybe. But not… Interesting.

What’s interesting is the human capacity to shift. To blossom into something greater, brighter, deeper, and more divine. To evolve, regardless of circumstance. To choose a different thought — a different way of being — and step in THAT direction, no matter what our lineage has done.

In short, to choose love. 
Every. Single. Time.

Love is the only thing that’s interesting. 
Love sets a new default for future generations.