I want to start by fully admitting that, although I’ve been pondering this concept abstractly for some time, I didn’t coin the phrase (though I wish I could take credit for it) ‘Come home to go big.’ Here’s my source:
I hate the saying “Go Big or Go Home”. First off: I love my home!!!! Why in the world would going home be some sort of punishment (for not ‘going big’ enough)?!?!? Second: I find it offensive to imply that we need to be something (or someone) other than who we truly ARE in order to experience success. I believe that each and every one of us holds a space in the world that is not only OK — it is, in fact, Sacred. So I reframed the saying to ‘Come Home to Go Big.’
- Kendra Cunov
☝️I love this. So. Much.
Yes, my inner go-getter loves the idea of, go big or go home. It’s fun to say, especially when you find yourself in a slam dunk contest or at the starting line of an Olympic sprint (which, I’m sure, you find yourself in places like these often).
It’s relatively harmless. And it may prove helpful to pump you up, should the occasion arise. Sometimes we need a motivational boost.
But even here, I’d argue that this phrase offers a limited way of seeing our inner growth.
By the time you finish this little aside of mine, I hope you’re at least exploring the notion that going big in a healthy, sustainable, life-affirming way is only possible without abandoning who you are at your core.
The phrase, go big or go home, can easily lead one to reaching. To forcing. To wearing oneself ragged. And to eventual burnout and bitterness.
Nobody wants that.
The problem doesn’t lie with ‘going big’. Going big is awesome.
Keeping our head under our pillow isn’t what we’re talking about here. This isn’t ‘coming home’, this is falling asleep. And life always calls us to awakening. Yes, we can fight it, but it’s a rough battle. The soul aches when we fall complacent to life. (I mean, have you seen the documentaries about Howard Hughes? I rest my case.)
No matter how much we shy away from ‘going big’, life always calls us to the next greatest version of ourselves.
Your soul wants to break open and flourish. Trust me, it does. But it needs you present in your skin in order to do this. And this is where ‘coming home’ comes into play.
By seeing ‘going home’ as a bad thing, we can easily abandon our soul’s calling and instead get mesmerized into accepting another’s version of greatness.
(Instagram makes it really easy to do this. I agree with the idea that we’re going to look back at social media one day as the new version of smoking. I digress…)
Your greatness never exists in another’s version. It’s never ‘out there’. It’s never away from home.
Your authentic going-big-ness never exists away from yourself.
An acorn never has to leave itself in order to become the oak. The oak tree starts in the core of the acorn’s being. Soon enough, it realizes its true expression as an oak. It doesn’t fight it. And it grows into its own. And hopefully no one comes around with a chainsaw. (Sorry to ruin that sentimental image. I couldn’t help it.)
It’s time to ditch the cliche of “Go big or go home.” It’s kind of a ‘Motivation 101’ phrase. But you’re ready to graduate from that class.
Come home to yourself to go big.
- Sit in contemplation and think about where you might be reaching in life. Just notice that part of yourself right now. Smile warmly at that part of yourself that’s nervously frantic — disguised as an overachiever. See that it’s trying to protect you from this made up narrative that you aren’t enough.
- When you see it and smile at it, you’ll notice it can relax. When it does, bring your awareness back into your heart space. Place your hand over your chest to embody this inner movement. Come home to yourself and rest in this place for awhile.
- Move on to noticing that your life has room for the divine dichotomy of both being totally complete AND yearning to unfold into more of itself at the same time.
- Ask yourself what you yearn to unfold as next. See it as a playful, organic thing rather than a frantic, reaching thing.
- Let it go and know that, because the thought occurred to you, this unfolding is already happening. Rest in the peace of that and go about your day and your work with that renewed awareness.