From my Beard

The following is a journal entry (edited for your readability) that I recently did. It’s a character sketch of my beard. Enjoy…


I am Jonas’ beard. I am very itchy. Especially at this point (I just turned three weeks old, yay!).

I make Jonas feel confident. I make him feel like a man.

His wife hates me, but loves me. I disgust her, but I make her desire him.

So what does that mean? I think it means she desires me, but I’ll give Jonas the credit (I’d hate for him to murder me again like he’s done several times before).

Jonas never knew his dad without a beard. Can you imagine not seeing your father’s jaw line — ever? Weird, right?

Before he died, his dad told him that the reason he had it was because, when he was a young man, he had a job at a gas station. One day, a big truck came through with a flat tire. So, he went, jacked the car up, inserted the tire iron, pulled it back with all his might to pry the mighty tire, and BAM! It slipped from his grip and nailed him in the jaw. Knocked him unconscious after shattering some teeth and leaving his face broken and bloodied.

Apparently, that scar was nasty. It made him self conscious.

I think I make Jonas feel closer to his dad. Even though he’s not around anymore, I remind him of that special man every time he itches me. Just like his dad did with his.

I hope I stop itching soon, though. 
Else it’s off with my head.

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