On losing control

Image: Artem Sapegin

Here’s a great question I got the other night (click the link below to expand):

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It was in response to an article I wrote in which I pointed out the fact that we humans have managed to domesticate God and how this false sense of ‘control’ has been depriving us, spiritually.

I mentioned the virtue of knowing that when we’re truly struck by a so-called God-moment, it’s as if we’ve lost all control — and in that loss of control we find the greatest loving bliss and fervor for life we’ve ever found.

So, the question is an obvious one... 
How can one give up control?

1. Drop the ‘How?”

First, I’ll say that , by uttering the very first word of the question, “How,” we’re already in trouble. Because as soon as we start talking about ‘how’ to lose control, we’ve, in a sense, tried again to gain control — the very opposite of what we’re setting off to do. When we drop the ‘how’, we set a precedent that we’re not necessarily looking for answers. And when we do that, we allow life to get… interesting.

2. Radical acceptance

Next, we merely open to the mystery and uncertainty of life however it may present itself. We accept life in the moment as-is, un-figured-out. This takes some un-training. Most of us have been trying to do this thing called life all by our lonesome. Even when we work with others — if we’re totally honest — we’re not truly seeking unity with them. We see them as roles played in our schema of life to get what we need. This is very human. If we can let this go even a little we can seek union with Life and with others without an overarching ‘plan’. We can radically accept what-is and the mystery it holds.

3. Find peace in the Presence

For most of us these days, mystery only exists to be solved. This might help when you’re planning your grocery list or balance sheet, but it’s narrow-minded thinking when it comes to life’s deeper questions. Is it possible to find peace in the uncertainty of life? Really, the only thing that’s uncertain is the future and the past. The present is always right in front of our noses. The reality of now just is. It’s when we try to rehash the past or project onto the future that we get… itchy.

Root into right now. It feels really good here.

4. Live in the awe

Most of us ‘practical’ people get really frustrated when questions are unanswered or when our views are challenged and paradigms shifted. Immediately, we frown and grit our teeth until we find the answers we seek. When things don’t fit neatly into the small box of our worldview, we get frustrated and force them in there, typically breaking things while we’re at it. Instead, we should seek these moments out. These are the areas of growth. In these corners of life, our world expands.


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Jonas writes short stories and preachments about spiritual, whimsical, creative matters on the daily here in Higher Thoughts. Get one to enjoy with your coffee every morning by subscribing here.