Laying the sword down

Image: Agberto Guimaraes

I think weird stuff sometimes… That’s just me though, right?

Like about the dude I was just driving behind... The one who was going 20 on a long stretch of 45 mph road. Just him and me.

Not many things get under my fingernails like slothfulness. Leisure is fine. But slothfulness… Guh.

I wrote his entire life story in about 20 seconds behind the wheel of our Kia Soul (whatever — it’s economical, okay).

He was a drunk convenience store manager who was horrible to his kids. His neighbors were constantly calling the cops on him because they’d catch him naked on their front lawn at 3am, mumbling and grumbling at the top of his lungs in a drunken stupor.

For awhile I wasn’t sure if these weird thoughts were from just being overtired. But now, after reading and watching plenty of others who’ve claimed to have these same types of whimsies running like twinkle fairies on angel dust through their minds, I’ve finally decided this is just part of the human condition.

We humans tend to think weird, insane, inappropriate stuff. All the time.

Makes me wonder — how do we do it? How do we function in a somewhat organized society? It’s amazing, really.

I used to think the key was getting a hold of my thoughts. Being able to wrangle and manage them. I’d get so disappointed. Not THAT thought again. Here we go. A whole flood more just like that one.

The more I pushed against them, the faster they’d come at me, some with pitchforks and torches. But I looked around and only I was there. It was me against me. How ridiculous.

I’ve learned that it’s not about overcoming these thoughts. It’s about noticing them. Finding amusement in them. And getting comfy with the power and thrust they have in my experience.

I can lay the sword down, kick my feet up, and let them entertain me at my leisure. (They tend to laugh back if I laugh with them.) I can even write about them.

Occasionally, I get caught up in their drama. But isn’t that what this whole ride as humans is all about?

I’m not sure about you, but I came here for a damn good movie. Not a numbed-out experience in a remote cave.

Examine the thoughts. Give them notice. See what they invite you to. But have the wherewithal to shift if they start taking you down long, dark, windy roads and the audacity to laugh in their faces if they start getting too serious.


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