The value of having someone who takes your problems less seriously than you do

Image: Bartosz Wanot

When you go to most people with a problem, what kind of reaction do you typically get?

I’m guessing it goes something like this:

They lean forward. Maybe they get a sad/serious expression on their face. They may even make the, “Ahhh,” sound, (as in, “Ahhh, poor baby,” without the ‘poor baby’ part). There might be awkward silence afterwards. They’ll usually express sympathy or give their advice in a hushed, stoic tone. Some will go so far as to get all fired up, expressing their solidarity with you against those your problem resides with.

Concern. It’s the most customary behavior between us humans when dealing with the issues of another — kind of like bringing wine for dinner at a friend’s house.

But the best thing is if you can find someone who will take your problems less seriously than you do.

I know... It sounds unsympathetic and crass.

But this is what I love. I love it when someone can look at my ‘problems’ in a lighthearted way because it reminds me of one, simple truth…

Creative solutions and the obliteration of ‘problems’ arise from a smile, not a frown.

I want someone to lift my spirits rather than get down in the mud with me.

Lightheartedness provides the space for true, enjoyable healing to occur.

Now, this takes tact. I don’t want someone who completely disregards or degrades me. I want someone who hears me — totally — but who also knows where to take me.

Sure… If my cat gets ran over by an ice cream truck, feel sorry for me. For a minute. But please have the wherewithal to eventually laugh at how damn ironic that is.

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