Your triggers don’t control you

Image: Jens Lelie

I worry about triggers — especially being a messenger/guide in this personal development space that I dive into every day.

So many people have them now (I know I do). And they wear them on their sleeves. One of my biggest fears is writing or saying something that sets one of them off. It’s happened. Many times. And it always sucks.

I hate hurting people. This is the last thing I’d want to do — especially to a reader/client who trusts me.

It really is like walking through a mine field. But it’s a path I’ve chosen through writing about what I write about and doing the work I do.

Here’s something that’s helped me flip the safety-lock on my triggers that I think might help you do the same.

Know this…

You can have an anxious thought and not be anxious.
You can have a judgmental thought and not be judgmental.
You can have an angry thought and not be angry.
You can have a fearful thought and not be scared.

This is the beauty of our free will. It’s so refreshing to know that I don’t have (or need to have) control over every thought that gets triggered through my prehistoric, survival-based brain. My only options aren’t to choose between fighting/fleeing/freezing/pleasing.

I may not be able to choose every thought. I may get blindsided by my triggers. But I get to choose what I act on.

There’s SO MUCH power in this…

When a trigger comes up, I get to see it as it is — just a thought. Just a story. Just a narrative I’ve written or have accepted via my ego that’s trying to keep my small self safe. And I can choose to act otherwise. Or not.


I’m Jonas Ellison — a motivational messenger and transformative counselor who writes daily here on Medium. To get my short vignettes in your inbox every day, click here.

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