Walking in the dark

Image: clotaire lehoux

I’m a little over a week from Higher Thoughts’ 1-year anniversary (on April 30th!!). So, I’ve been reflecting heavily on what this thing — this little experiment of daily blogging (which has turned into a healthy obsession and way of life) — has done for me.

There’s so many things, but the one that’s top of mind right now is this…

Creating something every day has taught me to get used to walking in the dark.

Every day, I’ve stared at the beautiful blank Medium editor wondering what the hell I’m going to write. Every single time, I’ve had to address that dreadful feeling of being empty of ideas, stories, and opinions. I’ve had to swat away that pesky fly that is the notion that everyone is going to hate it / ignore it / ridicule it / call the fraud police on me because of it / etc. But just like walking in the dark, soon enough, after stubbing my toe or cracking my head on a cabinet a time or two, my eyes adjust and it becomes more clear. Then, I’m good. I can make a whole meal, pick out my clothes (although those damn socks are never the same color), and plug in a phone charger. And every day, I’ve somehow managed to find that damn light switch.

What’s really cool is, after making it a daily habit and practice, those ocular night vision muscles (I think that’s the technical term for them) strengthen. So even though I always start out in the darkness, my eyes are adjusting more quickly. And those stubs and bumps are becoming fewer and farther between.

The darkness never goes away, but it definitely becomes a lot less ominous. (More on this coming up at the end of this month.)


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