Of approval

This monkey doesn’t give a sh*t what you think (Image: Liz Bridges)

Think of how many times you’ve hesitated doing something because you’ve been scared to offend someone (or a group of people) you care nothing about (if not being actively repulsed by)?

I always catch myself doing this. The funny thing is, even when I do, it usually doesn’t stop me. Although I’m giving fewer shits about them as I grow older, I’ll still find myself holding back my words, my thoughts, my art, because I’m terrified of ruffling feathers in their camp.

I’m not just talking about writing here. I’m talking about the workplace, the reunion, the grocery store, the cocktail party, the local tavern, and back-to-school night.

Approval is funny. Studying it shows us just how feeble our egos really are.

I mean seriously, why do we care? Why are we so scared of being rejected, (especially by those people)?

We know better. We know we shouldn’t care what they think. Hell, a higher part of us knows it’s actually beneficial for us to be rejected by them.

But we still hesitate. Because the ego is THAT fragile.

The ego is a trip… It separates us from everyone, yet it yearns for approval from everyone.

We have to call this tendency out for what it is as often as possible. Like an inner-muscle, we must strengthen our conviction and resolve again and again in the face of the criticism we make up in our minds about what ‘they’ might think.

And when you start getting actual hate mail (not the imaginary kind you make up before hand, but the real stuff) from them, pat yourself on the back. You’re finally in that sweet spot.


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