I’m so awkward sometimes.
See, I’m big on vibe. If a certain location, person, or group of people have a certain vibe — I’m good. But when that vibe is even a little off, I turn into a fidgety, floundering, agitated, itchy, looking-for-the-door, uber-introvert.
By being so reliant on a favorable vibe, I put myself entirely at the mercy of my physical surroundings — never a reliable source to lean on.
All those stories I tell myself — all those predictions about how horrible it’s going to be — they all come true. And it irks me.
You know those people who seem to be at home, everywhere and anywhere they go? I want to be more like them.
I’ve been working on this. And it’s really cool when I’m conscious of it. When I feel that nervous heightening of anxiety, I can direct my focus inward and pinpoint the place that’s stirring around — an inner whirlwind of sorts — and I can settle it. It may take a few deep breaths, but that intentional focus acts as a calming balm on the dry, cracked, anxiousness that resides within.
When it settles, it’s the best thing. My outer world totally changes. The hearth at the center of my being glows with warmth. And I’m home. Not in some strange place with strangers who threaten my very existence… But home.
Home wherever I’m standing.