How to get over yourself and speak up

I’ve heard from a few people recently that they want to write — they want to blog — but they’re scared to because they’re frightened of what people might think. Whether it’s that they don’t want to offend others or if they just don’t want to embarrass themselves — the fear of speaking up is keeping a lot of good people from speaking their truth.

I think this is horrible. So, I’m writing this post to help anyone who’s hesitant to speak their truth do so while feeling great about it.

This phenomena shows how powerful the ego is. The ego-based idea of being ostracized and ousted from the tribe is still very much a fear in the mass consciousness of humans.

The ego is a creature of our survival-based, fight/flight/procreate-driven reptilian brain (the amygdala or ‘lizard brain’ as Seth Godin puts it). A product of our primal, base, lower-level thinking. It conjures up a feeling of separation from everything else, puts us on an island, and tells us we’re going to die if we don’t listen to it.

Sadly, the ego is like the government. It tries to keep us safe, but it’s incredibly slow in keeping up with human evolution.

It’s still telling us to not stick our neck out from the tribe because if we do, we’ll be booted from the campfire circle and will have to try to survive on our own. And it reminds us of how hard that would be playing the movie in our minds of us taking our last breath before dying of starvation. Alone.

Geezus! Can we not get over this, people?!

Right now, anyone in the WORLD with an internet connection can log in to Medium and share a truth that could, potentially, shift human consciousness. No shit.

But I understand the fear. I’ve been there. A part of me is scared like a little child to hit ‘publish’ every day.

But, I’ve found, the best way to get over it is to do it. And do it again. I’ve found that after doing it all these years, that little overprotective voice of the ego is becoming quieter and quieter.

Although I’m pretty sure the ego’s voice will always be there. I’m fine with it now. I smile at it and thank it for trying to keep me safe. And then I tell it to go get a real job.

I’ve written things that have offended people before. Loved ones. Friends. Family. And it’s never a good feeling. Years ago, as a new blogger, I took on the mentality of a rookie cop with a shiny, new pistol. Cool! I can say whatever the hell I want. No one can censor me. I’m invincible!

But that first casualty really sucks. This is no way to harness the powers of the interwebs.

I’ve also wrote things that have made me look like an idiot. That sucks too.

But sitting right here, I can say that I can’t remember the posts I’m referring to, although I know I’ve written them. The good thing about that is, if I’ve all but forgotten them, my readers probably have too.

So, without further ado, here’s a couple quick tips. If you do these 2 things, you can feel more at peace with hitting ‘publish’ (although, keep in mind, the ego will still try to convince you otherwise).

You’re going to ask yourself two questions…

One, before you write. The second, after you write, but before you hit ‘publish’.

So, get comfortable. Turn off the internal editor. You’re going to get real with yourself right now.

The question you’ll ask yourself BEFORE you write is…

Am I writing to create unity or discord?

Are you writing just to pop off and complain? The world doesn’t need another complainer. Scream into your pillow if that’s what you want to do. We need uniters. You’re using the power of the web. Use it wisely. Use it for good, productive ends.

We good? Writing for unity? Ok, write your piece. Write drunk. Then edit sober. Then come back to this post.

Done writing and editing? Ok, now, read your piece to yourself (out loud, if you can). While reading, have this question lingering in the back of your mind…

Is this piece coming from a higher version of myself, or am I resorting to my lower self to get this point across?

Reading your piece should feel good. Yes, it should scare you. But in a good way. Not in a debasing, self-shrinking way. You’ll be able to tell the difference.

If you can answer these two questions in the affirmative, don’t hesitate. Hit ‘publish’. From there, it’s none of your business how anyone reacts to your piece. All you can control is your intentions behind it. If they interpret it in a weird, negative way — maybe it’s showing them something they need to work out. But that doesn’t concern you.

Feel good? Feel true? Feel unifying? Feel like a higher version of you is writing it?


Speak up.

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Jonas stands on his soapbox daily at Medium. To get his stories and meditations delivered straight to your inbox as soon as they’re live, click here.