by Jonas Ellison
One day, many millennia ago, the ego was sent out to create a god.
A god to save mankind from themselves.
To keep them safe. And to extend the human race.
To keep things predictable. Controlled. Centralized.
Hmmmm, the ego said to himself.
What god shall I create?
I’ll create an angry god. One who resembles a man. A father-figure.
I’ll give him a voluminous beard, gray hair, huge muscles, and a booming voice.
He’ll be a jealous god.
A judgemental god.
A god who uses mass amounts of guilt.
Guilt and judgement. Those 2 aspects will be this god’s MO.
This will surely keep everyone in-check. And safe.
Meagerness is good too. I need to keep people safe, so I definitely don’t want anyone thinking they can do anything too awesome. They might fail. If they fail, they may be ostracized. If they’re ostracized, how will they live? They’ll surely die.
So meagerness will be the key. If you’re anything above meager, you’re a ‘sinner’. Plus, this will be great for collecting taxes. Perfect.
Oh yes. I almost forgot. Sex.
This god will demand that sex only be for procreation.
If they enjoy sex too much, who knows what could happen. It would be anarchy.
And killing. This god will say killing is bad.
But what about the people enforcing this god’s rule? How can I create a loophole for them?
Oh! I know!
You can’t kill UNLESS it’s in the name of this god.
Ha ha. That was an easy fix.
I think I’m on a roll here.
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This essay first appeared on JonasEllison.com