A love story
by Jonas Ellison
have to come clean. I’m in love with Medium.
Medium and I have been dating, off-and-on, for two years now. I have to say, when I first saw her, my jaw dropped to the floor. Her crazy sexy layout and clean, sleek, and sophisticated typography. Damn…
I’d visit her for a day or so every few months. It was always amazing, but for some reason, I felt obligated to go back to the old ball and chain — my blog. Yep, she needed me. She had plugins that needed updating and bugs to fix. I was the man in the relationship, so I gladly took to those chores.
But I always found myself thinking about Medium. That sweet, syrupy Medium. Dayamn.
It’s all come to a head lately.
My blog and I haven’t been getting along. It’s mutual. She threw a dustpan at me the other day. I kicked the trashcan as I ran out of the house bleeding profusely. The cops came.
I didn’t press charges though. I love that woman.
I’ve been feeling it lately. She’s cold. Unwelcoming. That Wordpress editor just isn’t as, I don’t know, provocative, as I’d like it to be.
I’m a man, damn it. I have needs. After all these years, can’t she dress it up or something?
So, just this morning, I told my blog I needed some space. A lot of space.
I spilled my guts. I told my blog that Medium just… just does it for me. It’s where my heart is, even when I’m with her.
My blog deserves better. She needs someone more, I don’t know, attentive to her needs. I haven’t washed dishes or updated her plugins in months. It’s bad.
We’ve tried therapy at HostGator, but it’s always awkward when we’re sitting there on hold together. The awkward elevator music just makes it worse. She usually gets mad and hangs up first.
So, just now, I packed up and left.
It’s a scary feeling, to be honest. I was just so secure with my blog. We’d knit and watch Three’s Company together. When we made love, it was always in html. Never anything different.
Consistent. Lifeless. Boring. But safe.
But when I’m with Medium, I feel young again. I feel free. Like I could take a big bite out of life.
With her sleek, barely noticeable notes feature and crazy flexibility with images (oh, what I can do with those images), I’m done. I’m all-in. Head-over-heels. She has me wrapped around her finger.
This is why I’m committing to Medium. I’ve dabbled with her for too long. We’re perfect together. I just need to stop denying it. As scared as I am, I feel like I’m coming home.
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