It’s all been surreal, so far. Ever since we found out in November, soon becoming a dad has yet to really sink in.
But since this past weekend, it’s become increasingly more real to me. Our first ultrasound was last Friday. Seeing a real human being, with eyes, a spine, fingers, toes, brain and four chambers of a beating heart inside there is fk’ng surreal to say the least.
We had the ultrasound tech write the gender down and seal it in an envelope, handed said envelope to a friend, and she threw us a gender-reveal party the following day. It was so nice having friends and family around while we unsealed that envelope to reveal our little one’s gender. And, I’m proud to say, IT’S A GIRL!! Rory Kathleen Ellison, if she shows up on time, will be here on MY BIRTHDAY, August 21, 2013.
I can’t wait to spoil the shyte out of little Rory.
Now it’s starting to really settle in.. And I’m so, so excited. And scared. And all kinds of other emotions that are roiling about my consciousness right now. Knowing that we’re going to have a little girl running around in bedazzled jeans and princess dresses is indescribable. Looking at my wife as the soon-to-be mother of our child has exalted our relationship to a whole new level.
I really like where we’re at and am trying to really enjoy and take advantage of this time right now. The world looks different. I yell at people speeding down my street. I called a kid a ‘hoodlum’ the other day. I’m taking notice of where the electrical outlets are positioned in our new house. Basically, looking out for this little one who’s being slung into this world at hyper-speed to prepare the way as best I can.
But it’s sketchy, because I’m starting to realize there’s so much I CAN’T control. Rory is going to be her own person with her own challenges and all I can really do is help her the best I can from what little I know.
I’ll keep you posted on this journey through fatherhood. It’s the most transforming thing I’ve been through, and I’m sure I’ve only scratched the surface of what’s to come.